We've all overdosed on life

Hmmmmm...... is a lovely thought that comes to mind when one thinks of how we'll all be judged one day, that fatal day. It's like the Book of the Dead or Hammurabi's code of laws because they're the perfect things in life that should be done and punishments for those not done correctly greatly effect you outcome. In the Book of the Dead the pharaohs pride themselves on being holy and perfect, which cannot possibly be true. We're humans, humanity should be this way and would be greater in this way, but will never succumb to such "filthy" matters. Then with Hammurabi's code of laws one must sanction thyself or feel the wrath of those around you. Or maybe Karma should be the prime example, if that is easier for others to relate to. You can think it's all going to come back and get you in the end because it will. There are countless times in which maybe I am looking for these "karmatic" situations, and they're everywhere. I myself am not perfect, but I strive to be; to be the better person. The good will always haunt my mind, maybe because I have done so much wrong already? Who knows but I certainly will have to say media like Gilmore Girls has made me want to be a serene and knowledgeable person on right and wrong. I feel so old saying this but, "In my days I've seen too much wrong and very little good, but know the difference immediately between both." Ah ha! Wouldn't we all say this or some affect to it? Possibly, but no one is smart enough to act in such a way automatically. I'm not saying that anyone is stupid,yet just morally, and sensibly corrupt, which isn't much better.

I'm just me and no one else, but I try so hard sometimes just to make sure I do the right thing and that others do too. Personally I'd rather not engross everyone on the details of my life, being as touchy as that subject may be. But, I've been bad, sometimes so bad you'd think there's something wrong. Of course there are things wrong, but no one understands them. Moreover I'm not a person of gray. What I mean by this is that I do everything in extremes. I'm the the "black or white kid" as my 7th grade guidance counselor would say. I don't think compromise is supposed to be subjected within oneself, rather it should be with someone else. I'm a conflict within a conflict. Many of times I don't make sense, but who's to say I'm not weighed out in the end. Maybe I can be the perfect balance on the scales of Osiris?

I'd say the value of life is nothing like the meaning of life. You must see what that person has done, intended to do, and will do because all three forms of their actions are what a person, every person, is composed of. You can judge them upon this and who they are morally, because time and time again has shown morals will rise above all. Why do you think we have Hammurabi's code of laws, the Book of the Dead, directors of media still today making sure there is a meaning or a lesson learned in their media? Because common sense never failed any of us. This decision is made every single day of our lives. We judge every person we see, whether consciously or subconsciously, we do it. Like that girl you hated in school because she was most popular, whether you admit to it or not you still hate her, because she didn't realize she was hurting you, because if she did: Wouldn't she be your friend? Maybe even, nice to you? The meaning and purpose of life is different for anyone, because if I tried to explain it, it would only pertain to me. We all life separate lives, none can be equally measured, and no one is really wrong, just confused.

A better sense of me and where I want my life to go:
A)5 things I want to accomplish or have
1. True love... I want to find that person who is the other half, my perfect other half.
2. I want to have a perfect home, one that has history, yet modern amenities, the perfect
husband (previously described in my last blog), a child or two and to teach them the right
way to live life.
3. I want to travel the world, see everyone and everyplace.
4. I want to relax just once, without worrying, feeling guilty or incompetent.
5. I want to go to Yale and pursue International Law

B) What those five things mean to me:
1. I feel as though if I found that person that I clicked with, I wouldn't have to constantly think about my horrible past.
2. I think I want to perfect family life because I never had what I assumed to be a perfect home life. Something to the affect of Martha Stewart would please me.
3. I want to travel the world because no matter where I go I feel at home and connect with all the people. You would not believe how many times I am NOT considered a tourist.
4. I never really relaxed, because my dad thinks I"m lazy, and everyone is always so busy and has no time for me, that if I'm busy I'm in a way having time for me.
5. I want to go to Yale because I believe I deserve the highest education and the best. I was born in New Haven. My dad own houses mainly, 2 family houses to be exact, that he rents to Yale students. I grew up in that area (figuratively). I go to Ukrainian school on Saturdays on George Street. It's my life and I can see it going there and no where else. It's given me the warmest impression and I haven't even gone on one of their tours because I'm convinced I belong there. Think of your warmest childhood memory and what pops into my mind is Yale. Because Yale feels not like a towering Ivy League but a pal to joke around with, or family. It's home for me, at least.

C) What those 5 things mean to humanity:
1. True love makes everyone happy. It doesn't make you cocky, it doesn't make you harsh, it's a feeling of zen. Serene power within that makes everyone feel secure.
2.If only everyones family life were perfect, yes we'd all be the same or quite similar, but happiness is key for humanity. We shouldn't be sad forever.
3.Travel helps us all realize that there are (hands on) people who are less fortunate, history and a sense of unity.
4.Relaxation is the key to living, because not many live for a long time with a cranky attitude.
5.Education is also the key to happiness. It's everyone's key to success.

Mainly my short sentences and thoughts are meant to be elaborated upon within your mind because I don't think I should tell anyone what to think. Mainly because with no matter how many years of experience with words no one can exactly formulate a sentence that everyone will get the same response to. So, feel free and think what my life and my opinions mean to you.